I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
