feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
