you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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