Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Randomize
