wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Randomize
