She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize
