I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
operation have a gay friend backfired
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Randomize
