I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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