I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
