Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
