The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
