I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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