There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Randomize
