I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Oh god it's open bar.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
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