that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
He better not be in your backpack
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
