it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
