His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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