You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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