I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
