I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
