Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
