I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize