just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
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