Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize
