my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
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