so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Randomize
