Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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