If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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