I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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