We won't sleep together?
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
