you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
