lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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