I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Randomize
