I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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