Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
