if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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