so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Randomize
