if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
