He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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