Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize
