Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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