can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
