you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
