oh fat girl friday strikes again...
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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