do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
