I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
two words...techno handjob
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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