I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
