he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
