oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
please don't ironically join a cult
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