Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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