you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
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