omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
