4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
