she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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