Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
