xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize