The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
