had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
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