You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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