don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Who died my cat blue again?
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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