guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
