She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize